Illusions of Reality


Today I’m writing about some of my greatest fears I used to have as a child which haunted me. It’s about what reality was to me.

I’m writing because reality is a question to most – if not everyone.  Unfortunately it is something we will probably never have a real answer to and that sometimes it is best to just live life and stop asking questions.

I remember one day asking someone if I was still dreaming (as far as I recall, I was awake) and I was not answered but given a very strange look. I realised it’s not the kind of topic I should talk about. I held various theories of how we exist but I had no idea which was true.

First and foremost, do I exist or is this simply a dream? If this is a dream what is reality? Is reality a world of monsters and cannibals (hence one of the reasons why I'm a vegetarian)?

Or, does everyone know what the ‘truth’ is but me and one day someone will tell me that this world is a joke and I’m on candid camera. Yet what is reality away from the camera?

Once, in a split of a second, I had an ‘image’ of myself of when I grow old just before I ‘will’ die. I wondered if that will be truly me or if that was me before I died in my other body or if it was both. I also used to spend time trying to remember the messages I left to my present self before I ‘died’ in the ‘other’ body, but could not recall anything consciously.

These thoughts used to torment me and I was scared. I only used to feel safe when I was on my own - but not always.

On a lighter note, I also was thankful that I was not a god because I thought that ‘God’ painted people and they were born when it was raining. 

Now I still have no idea what reality is all about but I have promised myself not to think of such matters anymore because really and truly they scared the living hell out of me and made my reality a living nightmare. 

Comments

  1. ElySeptember 14, 2014 at 4:18 AM

    Ri, have a read of Descartes dream argument in his book Meditations. Very hard read, I can lemme it to you but it's precisely what you're talking about. Also, watch Jim Carey's The Truman Show. That film talks about a man whose life in reality was a TV show. It's fantastic. (El)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Ritienne AbelaSeptember 14, 2014 at 4:21 AM

      Hi Ely thanks for your reply! The only thing I know of Descartes is 'I think, therefore I exist'.
      I'd love to read it one day - I'll see if there's an online version :)
      Yes, I watched it and I remembered the candid camera bit :p

      Delete
  2. RachelSeptember 15, 2014 at 8:19 AM

    All I can think here. What you said about being vegetarian. Sausages, though. You eat sausages. Sorry. :P Feel free to delete my comment

    ReplyDelete

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