The Price of Freedom


What is happiness to me?

Happiness is helping others and seeing their happiness radiating through their faces; being free; listening to unexpectedly good music; being free; the crisp, quiet wind blowing in my face while I close my eyes and walk in the dark; being free and being surrounded with people who are positive. And did I mention being free?


It is not only because I want to emulate my favourite ever heroine, Jane Eyre “I am a free human being” but because it is exhausting beyond comprehension being chained to the wishes of a society of which values I abhor (at least some of them). Truth be told, there has to be a balance between being completely ‘free’ and not because it can become a precarious and slippery situation. Yet, in general, I believe society can be pretty confining.

In Kenya, and in the first few days in Malta, I was experiencing a  natural ‘high’. I was feeling free. Free from the contaminations of society, free from negative thinking, free from feeling that you’re less than nothing. Unfortunately, I can feel this feeling of freedom slowly ebbing away into oblivion replaced by insecurities. It’s one of the worst curses ever.

I wish I could walk around Malta in my pj’s like I did in Nairobi; my hair a mess, with little to no make-up on and mismatched colours and patterns all over me. I felt comfortable, free and me and most importantly - happy. I didn’t even feel a bit self-conscious. I can’t imagine the stares and hateful comments should I do that in Malta. I would probably be sent to a mental asylum.

Why is the price of being ‘free’ so expensive? Why does the necessity of being superficial by satisfying the approval of others be the only real existence to some? Or mine! To blend in yet be otherwise. I think that is one of the greatest sins of our society.



Till next time Africa, the soul of my freedom!

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